Managing challenging behaviour

This information can help you understand why some children's behaviour can be challenging and how to support them.

What is the difference between misbehaviour and challenging behaviour?

Misbehaviour is a deliberate action that disrupts and stops the coach from running the activity safely or effectively. It’s a conscious choice and could put others at risk or cause harm to people, equipment or the environment.

Challenging behaviour is any action that is difficult to manage or puts the person’s own or others’ safety at risk. It’s often a response or way for an individual to communicate their frustrations or express distress.

Behaviour is a child’s way of communicating, so if they are showing challenging behaviour, it’s likely to reflect how they feel. To manage behaviour in a trauma-informed way, ask what’s happened to a child, not what’s wrong with them. They are not giving you a hard time, they are going through a hard time.  

Understanding behaviour

A child’s behaviour might be challenging for a reason. Understanding this can help you to support the child’s needs and put steps in place to help ease the behaviour and avoid potential misbehaviour, outbursts or meltdowns.

When a child feels worried, scared or overwhelmed, their body can switch into survival mode. This isn’t something they choose, it happens automatically. When this happens, the brain focuses on staying safe rather than thinking clearly, listening or following instructions. Because of this, a child’s behaviour can change in ways that adults might find challenging or confusing.  

Here’s what that can look like: 

• Fight – a child may lash out, shout, argue, or seem angry.  
• Flight – a child might run away, hide, avoid eye contact, or try to escape a situation that feels too much. 
• Freeze – a child can go very quiet, ‘switch off’, or find it hard to move or speak.  

With calm support, reassurance and time, children can return to a state where they can listen, think, and learn more easily. 

Recognising the age and stage differences for children and young people can help you to understand their behaviour and what is age or stage appropriate for that child. 

Any child experiencing one or more of the following will also likely display behaviour that is not their usual:

• bullying or cyberbullying
• poor mental health, such as anxiety or depression
• difficulties at school with workload or exam stress
• problems at home, such as moving house, divorce, financial worries or loss of family member

Neurodivergence and behaviour

Children who are neurodivergent may display behaviour that is challenging, but it is a child’s way of letting you know they’re anxious or scared, or a way of them managing the big emotions we all have: 

If a child or young person needs additional support, this could come from a member of staff or volunteer, a family member, personal assistant or a carer who supports the child. Use a Support Carers' Agreement for the people who are not part of the national governing body, event or competition, but support a specific child or young person with a disability. 

If you are not familiar with how behaviour displays in children who are neurodivergent, the following resources may prove useful:

• Webinar on ADHD, Autism and taking part in sport 
• Blog on creating neuro-inclusive sport spaces 
• Recorded webinar on understanding and managing challenging behaviours in neurodivergent children - provided by Witherslack Group
• Understanding the strengths and difficulties of neurodivergent children: a guide for teachers by Edinburgh University

Setting boundaries and responding to challenging behaviour

Be clear about what behaviour is expected from staff, volunteers, children, parents and carers and what is age-appropriate. Everyone should be encouraged to agree what are acceptable and unacceptable behaviours, before any activity takes place. Parents should help their children to understand how they are expected to behave. Our age-appropriate codes of conduct for children and young people can help with this. 

It may also be useful to set up a child's wellbeing passport, sometimes called a communication passport. They are widely used in the health, education and social sector to help children communicate their emotional regulation and sensory needs and how to help them if they do have a meltdown or display challenging behaviour. This can help open up the conversation about what works for a particular child to keep them safe and to reduce the intensity of challenging situations. 

If you’re worried about a child’s safety, mental health or wellbeing, tell the safeguarding lead and follow your organisation's policies and procedures. 

Your response should always be:

• proportionate to the actions you are managing
• imposed as soon as is practicable
• fully explained to the child and their parents or carers
• recorded - what happened, when, how it was responded to, and the outcomes or recommendations
• outline any support that would be helpful or needed to manage the behaviour in future
• in line with any pre-agreed actions outlined in a child's wellbeing passport

For further information see our involving children and young people guidance.

Early intervention

Responding early to any difficult or challenging behaviour is more effective than leaving behaviour to escalate or become disruptive. 

Listening to the child - have a conversation with the individual to hear their perspective and understand their behaviour. What is going on in their lives at the moment? 

Responding quickly - when unwanted behaviour is first identified, you can attempt to support the child from continuing, escalating or creating a pattern of challenging behaviour. This is your chance to work with the child to change their behaviour before further action is taken. 

Reinforce acceptable behaviour - praise children and help them to identify what is acceptable behaviour. Help them find other ways of expressing themselves and their emotions. Remind them of your organisation's code of conduct or behaviour and the consequences of continuing difficult behaviours. 

Continued difficult behaviour

If a child continues to display difficult or challenging behaviours that putting themselves or other people at risk, consider the following options:

• give them space – taking time away from the activity or session to calm down and reflect
• make adaptations to your session or activity - adapting the training session times and activities, explaining the activity clearly and helping different learning styles by demonstrating techniques
• positive behavioural reinforcement – rewards for good behaviour, consequences for negative behaviour
• de-escalate the situation – talking with the child and distracting them from challenging behaviour
• increase supervision by staff and volunteers
• contracts or agreements for the child’s continued or future participation and sanctions or consequences, such as missing an outing or match
• seek additional or specialist support by working in partnership with other agencies
• As a last resort - temporary suspension or permanent exclusion – after all efforts to address any challenge have been exhausted, in exceptional circumstances where that child or other children are no longer safe

Physical intervention

Avoid physical intervention unless necessary - it should always be a last resort, carried out in the correct way by trained adults. Staff and volunteers should always consider the risks of physical intervention to themselves and others. Ask your organisation what training is provided for this.

Situations where physical intervention might be necessary can include preventing a child from injuring themselves or others, or preventing a child from causing serious damage to property.

If you need to use physical intervention, you’ve considered the risks and have had training to make sure you avoid injuries or harm to everyone present, you should: 

• aim to achieve an outcome in the best interests of the individual whose behaviour is of concern 
• use minimum force required to avoid injury or damage to property
• use it for the minimum amount of time needed to avoid injury or damage to property
• follow your organisations’ policies and procedures on managing challenging behaviour
• use it only after all other strategies have been exhausted
• make sure it’s the result of conscious decision-making and not a reaction to an adult’s frustration
• record the incident as soon as possible using the appropriate reporting form and procedure

Parents should always be informed following an incident where a coach or volunteer has had to physically intervene with their child.

What your organisation can do to manage challenging behaviour

Your organisation has a duty of care to keep children and young people taking part in your sport or activity safe. In summary, you can:

• understand behaviour and child development as well as have conversations with the young person and their parents and carers to understand their behaviour, triggers, or situations that impact the individual
• set behaviour boundaries with codes of conduct, so that everyone knows what behaviour is acceptable and expected, and what isn’t. This should be age and stage appropriate for the children taking part in your activity or club. 
• develop and implement policies and procedures that support individuals and help your club to actively manage behaviour
• make adjustments to support children and young people displaying challenging or difficult behaviour that may be disruptive. These could include: 
  • increasing staffing
  • having regular breaks
  • creating quiet ‘safe’ spaces or a sensory room where children can calm down if they feel overwhelmed or upset

What to include in a managing challenging behaviour policy

Here are some of the things that you should include in your policy:

• codes of conduct for parents, children, staff and spectators
• appropriate supervision ratios
• guidance, support and training for your staff and volunteers
• a process for responding to unacceptable behaviour
• guidance on what will happen after an incident including debrief information - for example any action that has been taken and what support has been provided
• how your organisation will respond to 'high-risk' behaviours - this could include an increase of supervision and support, additional breaks, or allowing the young person to sit out of sessions and have time to regulate their behaviour
• assessment of additional risk associated with the child's behaviour – your sport or activity could put in place a support plan to help manage and support the young person
• outline the circumstances when external agencies such as, children's social care services and the police will be contacted about concerns, see our information sharing guidance
• circumstances when physical intervention could be required and how this will be carried out